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Tuesday, January 6, 2015

How to Be a Hero

By Lauren Trevor

There comes a time when one must set aside the meaningless trivialities of life and get down to the really, important matters. Like, world-is-going-to-end, matters. That’s right, it’s time to talk about KitKats. Or more specifically, the correct way to handle and consume them.

Step one: Remove the wrapper. Please. This is the most important part.

Step two: (Pay attention! This is where many screw up!) Carefully break one of the pieces off and eat it. WARNING: DO NOT JUST BITE INTO ALL OF THEM. THIS IS DANGEROUS AND COULD RESULT IN BODILY HARM AND/OR WORLD DESTRUCTION/END TO ALL HUMANITY AS WE KNOW IT. (Refer to figure one on what NOT to do.)

Step three: Repeat step two as necessary.

Step four: Congratulate your accomplishment with a Snickers.


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